I'm sure I'm absolutely the only person that has ever felt this way (said sarcastically), the last few days I have felt like the world's worst mom. I feel like I can't control my kids more than half the time, they run through the house yelling and screaming which of course sets the dog off and he's barking and I just want to crawl under my sheets and hide, or bury my nose farther into a book and pretend all is calm and peaceful.
I know that I am a good mom, and sometimes even a great mom, but there are days when I think somebody picked the wrong person for this job. I pray every night that I can be the kind of mom I want to be, but I'm not sure how to do that. Today I started with my day with a scripture and a prayer (novel concept, I know) and it has been better. Hopefully I can stick it out for a week and see what happens.
But what do you do about a child that never listens to you? Who argues with everything you say? Who throws a fit over the smallest things? And, who is only 4? Everything I try never works for long, if it works at all. It is a great puzzle and I'm afraid I will spend the next 10+ years trying to solve it.
Despite how depressing the beginning of this post sounded, I do love my children and I am grateful for them. I know that the Lord believes in me and trusts me with his children. I don't like feeling like I'm failing Him and them on a daily basis. But I know that they know I love them, and I tell them that every day. I hug them and kiss them goodbye and goodnight. I feel like I do contribute little drops of awesome each day and I hope that counts for something. I have a desire to change and be better and I hope that also counts.
So, here I go, off to try and be the kind and patient mom I would like to be as Jared comes into the room crying over the newest disaster.
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1 comment:
If you are talking about your older daughter I feel your pain. Robin is only three, but she is so independent and talks my son into doing things I have asked them not to and she complains over the smallest things in a very annoying tone. Of course you aren't alone in feeling like the world's worst mom. As you know, hang in there.
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