Stuck

I had to make this a separate post because it's a completely different topic.  I have been feeling spiritually stuck.  I feel like I get so caught up in the other things in my life, that I will just read a few verses at night and call it good.  But it's not.  I want to grow.  I want to learn.  I want to have a better understanding of the gospel and the scriptures.  Sometimes I miss the days of Seminary when, despite having to get up early, you could have a time of day set aside to study and discuss scripture!  I miss the feeling I had going to seminary.  I never minded getting up early.  I loved just being there and feeling like I was learning something important.  I wish that there was an Institute class offered during the day.  I would so jump on that!
    We went to the temple recently and I was able to talk to Whit about it.  I would hear stories about apostles and other people having these great epiphanies at the temple or being able to learn something new every time they went through a session and I felt like I was doing something wrong.  But after talking with him, I realized that's not always how it works.  He asked if I had prepared myself to go to the temple that day, and I realized it's been a long time that I have taken the time to spiritually prepare myself for hopefully a spiritual experience.  I can't just expect the Lord to give me amazing insights and revelation if all I do is hurry, hurry, hurry and then get there and say, "ok!  I'm ready!".  I'm pretty sure there is more to it than that.
   A part of me felt that since I have been in Primary the last three years, I have been missing out on true gospel discussion in Gospel Doctrine.  But sitting here, typing this right now, I realize that perhaps I have not had the best mind set.  Don't get me wrong; I love Primary!  I love being with the kids and love the women that I serve with.  But I'm pretty sure I could have gotten more out of it than I have.  I suppose that's probably true about a lot of things.  While we were sitting in the temple, I was reminded that Primary is where you learn about the basics of the gospel, and you can always go over them again and gain a firmer understanding of the gospel.  That's what I should have getting out of this; and I think I have to some to extent, but not as much as I could have.
   Whitney recommended, instead of just reading the scriptures straight through (which I've done), to read by topic.  So I have decided to take that challenge.  I'm also writing down scriptures that grab me and plan to put a board up in my room to collect them.  I also downloaded an app he recommended ( I know, the age of the apps!).  It's daily scripture verses with a quote and song to go along.  It's been interesting to see how often 2 or 3 days in a row will carry the same theme or, how, because I read a small quote from a conference talk, I now want to read the whole thing.
   I feel like in a small way I have had a spiritual awakening.  I found some things I could change that could help bring the spirit more into my life.  For so long I have felt stuck.  I felt like I wasn't moving forward or making progress.  There was always babies and diapers and being pregnant and laundry and school and lunches keeping my kids from killing each other!  But I know that I need to take time for myself; not just spiritually, but taking time to do things I want to do.  I enjoy making cards and being involved at the school.  Those things make me happy and feel like I have something to contribute besides more children!
   I know that was a bit rambling but wow!  I feel better!

Good day

       Yesterday and today were spent getting reaquainted with an old friend and getting to know a new friend.  The kids and I went to Windsor yesterday and spent the afternoon and evening with friends that we made when we had lived there. The funny thing, is that we only knew each other for about a year before we moved back here.  That was 5 years ago!  With the exception of last year, we have kept in pretty good touch.  So it was nice to go back.  It seems to take a little bit to get in the groove, but then talking and catching up becomes easier.  We left her hubby with the kids and then went to a movie.  It was nice to have some girl time, minus kids!  We stayed up late talking and the kids and I spent the night there since I'm an old lady about driving at night.
     We came back early this morning and then went to lunch at my cousin's house.  But I wasn't there to see him!  Recently he has gotten married and has a precious new baby boy.  His wife and I have talked a few times and they've come over for dinner, but it was nice today to have just one-on-one time (unless you count the 6 kids that were there too; I don't!).  I'm hoping to continue to get to know her better.  It's nice to have a new friend :).
     I did feel a little bad because Whitney ended up having a Training Day (which means day shift) yesterday so he was all alone last night.  But I think he enjoyed having a quiet house for once!

Happy February!....Again!

      Has it really been an entire year?!  I can't believe with all my vast amounts of free time ;) I haven't found time to post.  Though, to tell the truth, posting has never been my favorite thing.  I go back and forth and it's so easy now to post things on facebook and upload pictures there.  But I don't post on a regular basis there either.  Perhaps if I treat this as my journal, I'll post more often.  I guess we'll see.
          My baby gets baptized next month!  I can't believe he is almost 8 years old!  Cassie told me to prepare to be emotional and I am just thinking about it!  I love him so much and it's been fun and rewarding to see how he is maturing in certain ways. Our conversations are different now.  He enjoys basketball and reading about the planets and dinosaurs and science experiments.
     He was talking to Whitney the other day about a game he had been playing on the ipad.
    "Dad, I was fighting this skeleton and it was a piece of cake!  Then I was fighting this other skeleton and it was like a piece of stone."
   Whitney- "A piece of stone?"
   Jacob- "Yeah, Dad.  It was really hard!  Hard like a mineral!  He was a piece of stone!"  And that's how Jacob's mind works.

     Jared starts basketball next month and he is really excited!  He talks about it almost every day.  He loves 1st grade and is becoming a great little reader.  He still sucks his thumb.  Nothing we have tried has worked.  I think he'll just stop when he's ready.  I'm not sure what else to try.
    Sarah is in preschool and will start kindergarten in August.  She is a 12 year old trapped in a 4 year old's body.  I can't believe how much attitude she packs in!  But she can also be sweet and loving so I guess I've done something right.  She did gymnastics for a while last year and wants to do ballet this year.  I'm hoping during the spring or summer we can do that.
   Kamryn, all of the sudden, is speaking a mile a minute.  And you can understand more and more of what she says.  She has always been a little parrot and it seems to really be paying off now.  She knows all her letters and numbers 1-9, and 0.  She mimics everything her siblings say and is absolutely adorable!
    We've been asked if we will have more.  I don't know.  I feel like right now I am emotionally stretched as far as I will go.  I love my children very much.  I just don't think I can add more at the moment.  We are in a good place right now.  I can enjoy my kids and helping at the school and serving at church without worrying about a little baby or a due date.  It's nice to just BE for a while.