Good Day?

I hurt a friend today and I wish I hadn't.  I think it's the hardest when you didn't mean to do it, and then you find out and realize how hurt that person is.  I had planned a day with some friends and this person didn't get invited.  I wasn't trying to not invite her; I just didn't think about it.  I know what it feels like to be excluded and not feel like you belong, or have really close friends.  But I never considered that she would feel this way.  I have apologized to her and hopefully by writing it down I can exorcise it and we can move on; hopefully as friends again.
On a different note, Sarah had her first dentist appointment today and did great!  My baby girl is starting kindergarten in a few months!  It's not fair how fast they grow up!  Kamryn talks constantly, and is even wanting to potty train.  Jacob turns 8 in a week and he'll get baptized!  Jared talks about 2nd grade every time they have a school break.  I love them all and wish sometimes that time would slow down and I can enjoy them a little longer.  Before I know it they'll be grown and leaving the house.  I guess when I get this sentimental it's time to go to bed :).

Forward March!

I'm sure I'm absolutely the only person that has ever felt this way (said sarcastically), the last few days I have felt like the world's worst mom.  I feel like I can't control my kids more than half the time, they run through the house yelling and screaming which of course sets the dog off and he's barking and I just want to crawl under my sheets and hide, or bury my nose farther into a book and pretend all is calm and peaceful.
I know that I am a good mom, and sometimes even a great mom, but there are days when I think somebody picked the wrong person for this job.  I pray every night that I can be the kind of mom I want to be, but I'm not sure how to do that.  Today I started with my day with a scripture and a prayer (novel concept, I know) and it has been better.  Hopefully I can stick it out for a week and see what happens.
But what do you do about a child that never listens to you?  Who argues with everything you say?  Who throws a fit over the smallest things?  And, who is only 4?  Everything I try never works for long, if it works at all.  It is a great puzzle and I'm afraid I will spend the next 10+ years trying to solve it.
Despite how depressing the beginning of this post sounded, I do love my children and I am grateful for them.  I know that the Lord believes in me and trusts me with his children.  I don't like feeling like I'm failing Him and them on a daily basis.  But I know that they know I love them, and I tell them that every day.  I hug them and kiss them goodbye and goodnight.  I feel like I do contribute little drops of awesome each day and I hope that counts for something.  I have a desire to change and be better and I hope that also counts.
So, here I go, off to try and be the kind and patient mom I would like to be as Jared comes into the room crying over the newest disaster.